Congratulations Mukhtar Mai

mukhtaran_mai_file078681We at Pak Tea House congratulate Ms. Mukhtar Mai for her recent marriage to Mr. Gabol.   She is a daughter of Pakistan whose efforts for women’s rights in this country have made her a symbol and inspiration for millions around the world.  May she now have marital bliss and all the happiness that was denied to her.  We quote here a story from the New York Times on Mai’s marriage.

Rape Victims’ Advocate Marries

Published: March 17, 2009

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan — Mukhtar Mai, the resilient Pakistani who was gang raped in 2002 on the orders of a village council but became a symbol of hope for voiceless and oppressed women, has married.

In a telephone interview on Tuesday, Ms. Mukhtar, 37, said her new husband is a police constable who was assigned to guard her in the wake of the attack and who has been asking for her hand for several years. She is his second wife.

She said the constable, Nasir Abbas Gabol, 30, and she married Sunday in a simple ceremony in her dusty farming village, Meerwala, in thesouthern part of Punjab Province.

“He says he madly fell in love with me,” Ms. Mukhtar said with a big laugh when asked what finally persuaded her to say yes.
Pakistani rape victims often commit suicide, but Ms. Mukhtar, who is also know as Mukhtaran Bibi, instead successfully challenged her attackers in court, winning international renown for her bravery. She runs several schools, an ambulance service and a women’s aid group in her village and has written an autobiography. By marrying, she has defeated another stigma against rape victims in conservative Pakistani society.
The village council ordered her rape as a punishment for actions attributed to her younger brother. He was accused of having illicit relations with a woman from a rival clan, but later investigations revealed that the boy had himself been molested by three of those clan’s tribesmen, and the accusation against him had been a cover-up. Mr. Gabol was one of a group of police officers deployed to protect her after she was threatened by the rapists’ relatives to try to stop her from pressing charges.

Mr. Gabol had a hard time persuading Ms. Mukhtar to marry. He had been calling her off and on since 2003 but formally proposed a year and a half ago, she said. “But I told my parents I don’t want to get married.”

Finally, four months ago, he tried to kill himself by taking sleeping pills. “The morning after he attempted suicide, his wife and parents met my parents but I still refused,” Ms. Mukhtar said.

Mr. Gabol then threatened to divorce his first wife, Shumaila.
Ms. Shumaila, along with Mr. Gabol’s parents and sisters, joined forces to try to talk Ms. Mukhtar into marrying him, taking on the status of second wife. In Pakistan, which follows Islamic law, a man can legally have up to four wives.

It was her concern about Ms. Shumaila, Ms. Mukhtar said, that moved her to relent. “I am a woman and can understand the pain and difficulties faced by another woman,” Ms. Mukhtar said. “She is a good woman.”

In the end, Ms. Mukhtar put a few conditions on Mr. Gabol. He had to transfer the ownership of his ancestral house to his first wife, agree to give her a plot of land and a monthly stipend of roughly $125.
Asked if she had plans to leave her village to live with her husband in his village, Ms. Mukhtar said no. “I have seen pain and happiness in Meerwala. I cannot think of leaving this place.”
Her husband, she said, “can come here whenever he wants and finds it convenient.”


Filed under Pakistan

9 responses to “Congratulations Mukhtar Mai

  1. simply61

    This is good news and I hope things work out for the newly weds…..the arrangement sounds a bit complicated but I hope Mr.Gabol is a man of honor.Mukhtaran Bibi deserves the best.

  2. Milind Kher

    Mukhtar Mai is an icon of hope and inspiration not just for Pakistani women, or only for Muslim women, but for oppressed women the world over.

    She has been through a lot, she has fought with grit, and won her spurs in a tough battle.

    God bless you, Mukhtar Mai

  3. Adnann Syed

    Here is a little observation about Mukhtaran Bibi’s mention in the gatherings of Pakistanis here in Canada, and even back in Pakistan. While people love to discuss the slightest of political developments, Mukhtaran Bibi, gang rape, and her subsequent pursue of her violators is never discussed or brought up.

    Maybe this phenomenon happens just in gatherings of my family and friends. I would love to hear if anyone else has noticed the same.

    Mukhtaran Bibi is a far more intelligent and brave woman for a woman coming out of poor village and very little education. And her bravery, outspokenness, combined with the savagery and humiliation of the crime perpetrated against her, makes many every day masses distinctly uncomfortable with her. Not in a bad way I suppose, but it is an uncomfortable topic to broach in gatherings.

    Congratulations to this brave woman. May she find happiness in this marriage and have a good life.

  4. Milind Kher

    People may find Mukhtaran Mai a difficult subject to discuss.

    However, that should not deter authorities from doing their job. They will need to catch them and punish them.

    Sangsaar is the punishment for rape, I understand.

  5. aish

    I hope this story gets publicized everywhere, so that all rape victims can have hope of marrying without any social stigma. This revulsion towards rape victims is prevalent everywhere, though it’s not explicated. I’m glad things turned out better for her; sadly, alot of women have come and gone, silenced through things not under their control.

  6. ralam420

    Good Lord! This Gabol seems like a drama queen.

  7. Suresh Man Shrestha

    Congratulations to Ms Mukhtar for her bravery and fight for the noble cause of women. It seems you are a very exemplary women of the globe. However, always mind to balance the relations with your husband’s elder wife and your husband. Keep it up the human rights work for the depressed women and people.

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  9. S.A.Kahn

    Congratulation on you wedding and hope you are happy inspiring your country women to
    stand up to unfair social practices such as covering faces behind veils,compelled by families to marry against will, deprived of right to education and