Sex at Pak Tea House – no brothels here

Raza Rumi

Two esteemed bloggers, visitors at the Pak Tea House (PTH) complained that PTH through its laissez faire comment policy was turning into a brothel. A piece from an international publication on the booming sex trade in Pakistan was posted here. Now it is true that the term sex invites attention and clicks by the browsers. Google figures have time and again shown the enormous searches for the term ‘sex’ emanating from the Land of the Pure.

It is therefore an issue that concerns Pakistan at its core: the hypocrisy relating to sexual desires and the frustrations that are part of the baggage. We in no way wanted to invite readers to leave their numbers, email and chat IDs for nocturnal secretive activities.

But it happened. I have removed almost all the comments that were left by men and women where invitations for sexual liaison were made in the comments space. Yet, I am not a prude and most of the authors at this forum are also not inclined towards Victorian sensibilities.

There is a need to therefore invite writings, comments and analyses of this vital issue. Psychologists have been concerned about the results of sexual frustrations in the contemporary society and how damaging it is for the youth.

Readers might be interested in these earlier posts at Lahore Nama, the other blog that I manage, which also invited some insightful comments on how distorted and skewed the understanding and yearning for sex is in the beloved homeland. 

Lahore’s seedy brothels and official hypocrises

Sex, culture and pictures – top 5 searches for Lahore-Nama

Sex, spirituality and history: Searching Lahore?

Hot ’sexy’ Mujras have destroyed Lahore’s commercial theatre

Marginalised male sex workers vulnerable to HIV/AIDS

Advertisements

14 Comments

Filed under culture, Pakistan, sex, Society

14 responses to “Sex at Pak Tea House – no brothels here

  1. Meer

    Dear Raza

    Please use some nice themes for your blogs specially this one and Lahore-nama. If you could make up something similar to either pakistaniat.com or http://pkpolitics.com/ then people would be more inclined to interact.

    Regards

  2. Friend

    I must say this post looks suspiciously like something designed to get more hits because of searches of “sex” and “brothel”.

    If so, this comment will also help a bit in adding to that. If not, then my apologies 🙂

  3. Shaheryar Ali

    I think Sex is very under-covered subject in our blog and more should be written. we must reject moral bigotry and policing

  4. Qandeel

    Of course many of our social problems boil down to sexual frustration. The young uncle who “plays” with his niece, the lesbians in girls’ hostels, to the more extreme of the young man turned suicide bomber because he thinks he’ll get to mate with 72 virgins. Wouldn’t things be different if they had had the chance to freely have sex without the stigma? The more sexually liberal a society, the more peace and harmony (look at Scandinavia, the Netherlands, etc.)

    There was recently a study done on internet cafes in Pakistan – the most frequently visited websites remain jihadi ones and porn sites (and deviant porn sites at that!).

    They obviously need a new policy to tackle extremism. How about: get them laid.

  5. Raza am glad that you took the initiative of writing the post . I completely understand your message through this, being a regular reader at pakteahouse I believe there is no need to use terms like ‘sex’ to get traffic . There is indeed a lot of quality stuff here to read and I certainly believe you don’t need cheap publicity . Keep up the good work !
    P.S: the blog turning into a brothel wasn’t exactly my point but it surely became a chat session for them, thanks for taking action.

  6. Shaheryar Ali

    Interestingly , BHL has written bout the direct role of sexual frustration in building a suicide bomber. Not only , his desire to mate with 72 virgins but also concerns bout his sexual orientation, and his insecurity!

  7. aliarqam

    The sexual frustration in our society has led it to a state of mind…where most of the people,when commenting on any woman character..either an actress,social or political personality…mentions the sexual aspect with much stress…
    Shaheed Benazir sahiba was a victimized by almost all…whether religious or common man….Recently on a website I watched that in profile of Kashmala Tariq..many persons have offered her proposal of marriage….
    In Urdu we say…
    Bhookey ko to Chand ko dekh k bhi Roti yaad ati hai…
    And commenting on someone(female) on with sexual aspect…
    This is our common behaviour..
    As in “A Passage to India” by Goldning..when Dr Aziz Commented on The female characters flat breasts…or emma dunkin has written in Breaking the Curfew…etc

  8. Shaheryar Ali

    Shaheed BB sahiba spoke publically about the chauvinism as well harassment she had to endure during her political career in Pakistan

    Ms Zubeda Jalal is on record that she had to face sexist comments and question from PM Jamali when she applied for maternity leave!!!

  9. Sex, in the first place HAS NOT to be discusses more according to Islam, as the more you leen towards it the more curious you will be. BUT in the present environment of TV, Cable, and Internet we can’t escape this fact. So instead of hiding it from kids and youngs one should tell them what it is actually. But that doesn’t mean that it should be let practiced so openly. I got extremely worried to read few comments here by the readers as how deviant their views are [either out of lack of knowledge or their own deviance towards sex].

  10. Adnan

    Working hard to disgrace Pakistan, bast****

    go check the stats of rapes done in USA every 2 sec there is a rape done in USA, what about Indian sex markets what about European sex markets where prostitution is legal.

    How many girls you tried to help who are doing prostitution for money ?

    Where are the solutions?

  11. Talha Ahmed

    “Of course many of our social problems boil down to sexual frustration. The young uncle who “plays” with his niece, the lesbians in girls’ hostels, to the more extreme of the young man turned suicide bomber because he thinks he’ll get to mate with 72 virgins. Wouldn’t things be different if they had had the chance to freely have sex without the stigma? The more sexually liberal a society, the more peace and harmony (look at Scandinavia, the Netherlands, etc.)

    There was recently a study done on internet cafes in Pakistan – the most frequently visited websites remain jihadi ones and porn sites (and deviant porn sites at that!).

    They obviously need a new policy to tackle extremism. How about: get them laid.”

    …like Adnan said :’ Working hard to disgrace pakistan.’

    All the things you’ve said are exaggerated, vague and desperate. The problem here was illicit sex and you are telling us to solve it with more free sex. You do it despite knowing what problems that has led to in the West. Teenage pregnancies, aids, rapes and actually REAL SEXUAL FRUSTRATION than here. You haven’t mentioned these issues though.

    More and more perverted ideology has allowed gay sex as well. Folk over there are so confused, they support gays at the same time as Darwin, who upheld that through billions of years, men and women were designed to mate each other and not themselves!

    You linked peace with sex whereas I link it with control of arms. You talk of perverted stories like they are commonplace in Pakistan when they are actually rarely there compared to west.

    Whatever cases we have, they are due to illiteracy and poor law enforcement, not because we haven’t allowed free sex. Would an uncle in a free sex country be more free to harass his niece or an uncle in Pak?

    Qandeel, I have dignified your comment with a reply and that is more than you deserve. If you’re a paki living abroad since birth and know nothing about islam, you can be forgiven. However, if you live here, you must be one of those new ‘enlightened ones’ whose sincere wish is to make sinning here as easily as possible.

    We have islam which has an ideology. It really is a pure and amazingly gracious faith. In order to remove problems, it needs to be implemented, not eliminated.

    ‘Sex’ searches is hardly even a problem, let alone a justification for your articles. This must be teenagers mostly and all we need is for schools to guide them to approach this topic the right way, and for the govt to implement islam properly so that an islamic lifestyle can be created in the true sense.

    Thank god we have an ideology, for those who don’t could never say why gay sex was wrong and therefore, would never be able to say why sex between uncle and niece (or maybe even more than that) is wrong, if their nations demanded it anytime in the future…

  12. Talha Ahmed

    “Many of Pakistan’s contemporary sexual mores may have evolved from traditional practices. For example, the polygamy permitted in Muslim society stemmed from the need for larger family units, the better to support familial ties and tend for widows. Until such ancient customs are updated, women such as Sandra will continue to be bought and sold.

    It’s time for Pakistan to admit that prostitution is doing a roaring trade within its borders, and will continue to prosper until it is addressed in a modern manner. Let us hope that the people and government of this proud Muslim country will stop pretending the problem simply isn’t there.”

    Even a layman can judge from this lame ending of the article by william sparrow that he is desperate enough for all traces of islam to be removed from our society, to blame it for actually giving rise to prostitution and pimping. The theory about polygamy’s effects is hilarious. Practically, it does the opposite: it would support Sandra rather than push her into evil.

    I don’t give a darn what he means by ‘modern’ here..Yes, this problem will be solved, and yes, by the even more ancient way: destroying all such places. Fingers crossed until true leaders come up, and then it will happen..

    INSHALLAH!! (cuz we know the word cuts deep)

  13. Kashif

    So nice im also enjoy and so happy to know about it so nice

  14. shiv

    As far as I can tell sex is discussed freely and frankly in the translations of Islamic texts I have seen including references to cleaning of semen stains. I think most people will know what I am talking about. So it’s not as if Islam has a problem with sex but some Muslims have certainly made it one and in Pakistan’s urge to be more Islamic than thou has accentuated the problem.

    A scholar called Raphael Patai, probably a Jew, a scholar fluent in Arabic wrote a book called “The Arab Mind” where he summarizes Arab attitudes to sex. I quote verbatim:

    The issue of sex in the Arab world reminds me of the old story about the Sorceror’s apprentice and the pink elephant. The master of Alchemy, after explaining to his apprentice the complex steps to be followed in making gold, added: “And most importantly, throughout the entire process you must not think of the pink elephant”. Having been duly impressed by this warning, the apprentice tried desperately to heed it, but, of course was unable to keep the forbidden subject out of his thoughts. At last he had to give up his attempts at making gold and sadly reproached his master: “Why, O my master, why did you have to tell me not to think of the pink elephant? If you had not, I would never have thought of it”

    This is exactly what afflicts Pakistan.